Who Watches The Watchmen?

Last week the world was in awe when it was revealed that the current Pope (Benedict XVI) predicted the world's current (shitty) financial turmoil in 1985.  An Italian Finance minister breathlessly called the soon to be pope/ex Nazi supporter's paper a "prophecy." Prophecy is defined as  "something that is declared by a prophet, especially a divinely inspired prediction, instruction or exhortation." The great revelation, that you can read here, is as follows "The future pope said a decline in ethics 'can actually cause the laws of the market to collapse.'" If you walk outside and see a man standing in the street without pants then you will know that he read the Pope's prediction. Holy shit.  I can't believe I am still typing knowing that in 1985 a future Pope said that ethics violations can cause markets to collapse?!?!  The bits of brain are trickling over the keys and I cannot speak to what follows cause my mind has been blown.

5 Other Predictions from The Pope's 1985 Prophecy Paper

-shoddy construction leads faulty buildings

-mexican food leads to diarrhea

-bad parenting leads to bad children

-the right foot leads the left foot follows

-tight rolled jeans will lead to boot cut jeans

5 Omissions from the Pope's 1985 Prophecy Paper

- I will be Pope, no seriously, I will.

-Live Aid will suck as will the 20 anniversary Live Aid in 2005.

-Have you guys played the Nintendo? Cos I have and it's sweet.

-Tommy Hilfiger, while inspired by classic NE fashion, is awfully gaudy.

-Everyone will drive a Ford Taurus.

I don't have a problem with predictions.  I make callous, ill informed and usually wrong predictions weekly (thanks football).   Numerous talking hot air balloons are already lining up to tell us what will be hot or not and what the big stories will be next year.  I do have a problem when a generally accepted commonality is ordained as "divine." The word heresy has been thrown out for lesser transgressions.  Where are the checks and balances? Where was the Catholic bishop, cardinal or robin to say "You know what, this really isn't a prophecy or a prediction..." This is a man who represents Catholicism's Dali Lama. He is supposed to be so close to God that we kiss his hands in his presence. Seriously.  This is the shit you come up with?  Come over to my house.  I have a folder on how the world is going to end.  Not when, just how.  It says more then your piddly paper ever could and it's just photo copies of articles and a picture of an airplane dropping bombs.  

The bible says, roughly, that you should not pluck the speck from your brother's eye when you have a plank exuding from your own. This is absolutely true in this instance, but I wouldn't call that piece of divine scripture a prophecy.  You see, I let this happen.  I read it. I listen to it. I am outraged by it, but I am powerless to stop it.  The Pope is placed high on a pedestal by an adoring following who believe he can do no wrong.  He is a man.  If you want to prophesize something give me specifics! If you can't give me specifics, at least be interesting when you are vague - like Nostradamus.  Again, I make bullshit statements like this all of the time, but I lack the following and the outlet the Pope has, so I come off as crazy, paranoid and just annoying.  Kanye West has a similar following as The Pope.  Kanye would be much more entertaining if he just made good music and didn't try to win asshole of the year all of the time.  

You won.  We get it.  

This past Sunday at the American Music Awards, Kanye proclaimed that music is so great right now because of artists like himself (of course) and others were pushing the limits of great music and when people talk about where the next Led Zepplin is or where the next Elvis is "they right here!" he said with much authority on the subject.  He then goes on to compare coldplay, Chris Brown and Alicia Keys to some of the greatest musical artists ever and then says he wants to be Elvis.  He then stares at the crowd as if saying "Oh shit! Can you believe I just dropped that science on your head....tonight....at the...um....where am I?......AMA's....word!"  Are all of those people he mentioned talented? Yes.  Are they in any of the same categories as who he compared them to?  No. Of course not.  Depending upon your view of time, what Mr. West spoke about is in the past.  The world doesn't need another Elvis or another Led Zepplin. They need something new and better.  They sure as hell don't need Colplay ruining a perfectly good evening.  I tend to agree with Public Enemy "Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me."  These predictions and pronouncements, the prophecies and promises should produce more then head bobbing and passive agreement.  They should leave my mind dripping on the keyboard and they should move me to action.  Or at least an action other then sending Chris Martin hate mail.  These minor voices using major platforms will disappear.  Kanye will fall off as all rappers eventually do.  This Pope will be succeeded by another one. But my mind is trying to combat their haze of bologna that will continue to build, corrupt and dupe others out there who believe the truth is as simple as opening your mouth.  It is, but you have to know what to say. 

The Final Countdown to the Collison Between Us and the Damned

selected Quotes from George Orwell's 1984

"Nearly all children nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the Spies they were systematically turned into ungovernable little savages, and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party. On the contrary, they adored the Party and everything connected with it… All their ferocity was turned outwards, against the enemies of the State, against foreigners, traitors, saboteurs, thought-criminals. It was almost normal for people over thirty to be frightened of their own children."

"The very word 'war', therefore, has become misleading. It would probably be accurate to say that by becoming continuous war has ceased to exist. ... War is Peace."


"Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious."