Professional athletes are a rare breed. They are super humans that dwell among us due to their sheer physical talent. They are the culmination of Herbert Spencer's Principles of Biology (1864) when he first coined the notion of "survival of the fittest." Professional athletes exist to compete and attain the title of champion. They could be evidence of Nietzsche's Ubermensch - the super man alive in our culture. Many disagree pointing out the childishness of games, American footballs offensive linemen, certain baseball players and hockey as evidence of sports meaninglessness in an enlightened society, but athletes have been the elite in society since ancient Greece. Sports is not only a part of our culture, but part of the foundation. There is nothing that crosses all barriers and creates more modern myth then sport.
Today's professional athletes are often compared to actors, actresses or anyone under 25 as vapid, selfish, shortsighted and dumb. While some professional athletes may share some of those qualities their lives couldn't be more different. The majority of (young) actors are seeking fame because a need to be desired. A need to be the center of attention. The need to be someone else. Some actors take classes to hone their craft and some survive on looks alone. They have been looking for coddlers their entire life. Professional athletes are coddled from as early as 10! They go from big man on campus to bigger man on bigger campus to multi-millionaire in the blink of an eye. But that brief second that eye is closed no one see the countless hours of hard work and incredible amounts of punishment to the body, not to mention the lessons and eventual degree you receive in being the hope of a small group of people, the love of many and dealing with an increasingly rabid media. To say it is a hard job, is an understatement and as the spotlight grows we put a larger microscope lens on every aspect of someone who has dedicated their life to winning, often without considering their degree of commitment to their craft.
With that said; JAY CUTLER IS A BITCH. He is the whiniest of wimps that comes across as a trust fund baby who couldn't borrow daddy's Benz for the weekend. The current Denver Broncos quarterback got pissy when he found out his current employer was considering a trade and picking up another (cough..better) quarterback. He said he thought his employer and new coach were being disrespectful. The Broncos fired back with a curt "yeah, so." Basically saying that is within in their rights to do these things for the betterment of the team. This is true and something most businesss do often; looking for fresh blood and cutting off the dead vines, to mix a metaphor. Cutler could have taken a chance to be a gentleman about the situation. He could have distinguished himself from his image as an arrogant punk to the class of the league evidencing his place among the greats. No. That's not Jay Cutler. He is more suited to be a snooty family member of the namesake of his college. He is more apt to compare himself to one of the greatest quarterback ever (more on him later) and then lose his way to an early vacation. Jay Cutler is a bitch*.
The Vanderbilt Commodores record with Jay Cutler as a starting quarterback 2004 & 2005
7 - 16. That's under 50% for his final two years as a college starter. His stats? FANTASTIC. he breaks records in passing yardage and attempts. He finishes his four year career with over 8,000 yards passing and his TD's doubling his INT's including 17 rushing touchdowns. Heisman consideration is a definite, but he is a loser.
Cutler sits behind Jake "The Snake" Plummer the 2006 season becoming the full time starter in 2007. He finishes 12th overall in his position with an 81% quarterback raking falling behind such luminaries as Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Ben Roethlisburger, um, David Garrard, Matt Hasselbeck and Kurt Warner. In 2008 he finishes 16th with a 86% quarterback ranking, now falling behind journeyman like Matt Schaub and Seneca Wallace. The Denver Broncos combined record for 2007 & 2008 15 - 17. Again, that is under 50% for a two year starter.
So this bitch, Jay Cutler, is complaining because he is not a winner? While his stats have been consistent and improved he has never won anything for a college or professional team. He has no right to call out management for seeking the best option for the team. Last week he had a bad meeting with the new coach Josh McDaniels and didn't report to another one. It was reported that he wanted to be traded. This of course made my anger grow to Incredible Hulk type heights.
I need to come clean about a couple of things. I am a "Power to the People" kind of guy. I am all for getting your money, sticking it to the man and understand that eggs must be broken for an omlette to be delicious. I rarely side with "the people upstairs" because frankly, they are the ones who got us into this damn mess in the first place, but that's another story. Secondly, I hate the Denver Broncos. I hate everything about them. I hate their uniforms, their goddamn (band of) horses, the mile high salute, the orange crush, Terrell Davis, Tom Jackson and of course his mile-highness John Elway. I despise going to Denver because even as many years after his retirement you cannot enter the city without his visage hovering over you. It's like he built the fucking place; they forgot about the whole history of Colorado like the fact Jack Kerouac lived their for some time and The Fray are from there and all that prospecting bullshit. I hate the Denver Broncos so much that if I was driving in Denver and I saw the Barrel Guy I would not hesitate to hit him with my car and keep going. Yes I understand all the legal ramifications, but if life has taught me anything it's that my hate trumps the law.
Here is what I fail to understand, or will never understand due to my unbridled abhorrence of the Denver Broncos - how is anyone of Cutler's side of this? Last year when he stuck his Avias in his mouth by saying that he had a stronger arm than Big Brother John Elway; critics and fans let him off the hook saying he was a gamer and that it showed where he wanted to be as a starting quarterback in the N F L. Since he latest temper tantrum I do not see how you could cheer for the guy when he has demonstrated himself as a floppy haired arrogant crybaby. He is not the first, but the guys who are like him are on the streets as actors. You can say what you want about Terrel Owens, but he wins whereever he goes. Jay Cutler has not won in Denver under a stable owner who is liked throughout the entire league. He has seen the demise of one "genius" (and might I say, probably still over tanned, but well-rested) coach and has met his match in a younger coach who follows a strict no "I" in "Team" policy. Oh yeah, this coach studied under a Super Bowl winner and a football genius who didn't ascribe the title to himself in Bill Belichick. When is comes down to it, Jay Cutler has revealed himself to be a Queen Bitch, but not in a Bowie way, trying to whine himself to a better situation. Something most of us learned early would not get you far.
Even if your not a Denver fan or a sports fan in general would you answer this "Want Ad?"
"Team Leading Quarterback with huge sense of entitlement, hot head available now for a competitive price. Generally puts self above others and matches his deluded sense of grandeur with a bitchy temperament."
It seems like Cutler is part of the problem not part of the solution. Pray that he doesn't come to your town and Broncos fans pray that he receives his comeuppance.
In what typifies the Jay Cutler experience you must watch this superb South Park Episode from two years ago. Fast Forward to 5:50 - 6:10 for the goodness, but the entire oeuvre is great.
~all stats gleaned through espn.com who probably paid someone else to get them~
*I would like to clarify that I do not mean "bitch" in a stereotypical rapper, misogynistic way. I mean it in the literal whiny female dog that alienates those around it with it's insufferable behavior kind of way. And if you're a son of a bitch? Whoa. I would never offend Mrs. Cutler in that way.
Also, some may point out that I did not reference his Diabetes or the show that was made out of his diagnosis, etc. There are plenty of people with jobs as equally as demanding physically as Cutler who get by everyday with less money. It does not denigrate his bitch status.
Finally, Lance Armstrong is the most boring human being ever. Please go away and take your bike with you.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
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